This is Confusion, am i Confusing You ?

Oh i really adore you so

2008-10-24T06:45:00.000-07:00

i'll always leave and i'll always die
even if i try to fix you a tie
but you'll always stay in every ordinary day
like a simple thanksgiving on 16th of May
i'll always be the girl who dreams for the moon
she can turn into smoke anytime soon
she can never be the woman who wears you a tie
that's why she left to the sun, sedated and died
just for you to know
i really adore you so.

gods and goddesses

2007-02-04T05:21:00.000-08:00

Do the gods belong to the world?
They're wearing galaxies they'd call it clothes
(Om)
They're dancing at a club we'd call it heaven
Can i see you when i cross the river?
Tell me gods, do i belong to you?
No, i won't tell anyone
The sorceres of time and mind
Makes Houdini a wannabe
(Om.. bhur bhuva suvah tat savithur varenyam bhargo devasya dheemahi dhiyo yonah prachodayat)
Oh i can sense, but i won't tell anyone
Let's worship, let's chant, Namaskar
(Harer nama harer nama harer namaiva kevalam kalau nasty eva nasti eva nasti eva gatir anyatha)
To the gods that belong to all worlds
and wearing galaxies as their clothes
Tell me gods, what is your science?
(Om mani padme hum)
(We paint aurora on a stone from scratch)
Tell me gods, where is Elvis?
(When a king lost in a vast ocean, he shall return by the help of a giant tortoise)
Oh i can feel, but i won't tell anyone
(Om).

Sleepynose

2006-07-15T06:00:00.001-07:00

There lived a joker clown, in a nearby circus town
The only thing she knew was just to have fun
The children aware that the clown had a million hearts
To kept her away from gloom and to smile just as bright
But what the clown didn't know
That even children could be sarcastic, mean, and so
Her hearts were breaking one by one
Everytime a child jump and mock her then run
Until she got no hearts left, well she pretend to be deaf
The clown became the object of a terrible laughter
She was no longer sure if anyone loves her
She wondered, "If i got no hearts left, should i have turned into oil beneath the ground?"
Well, maybe after 5 billions years and not this time around
The clown counted her broken hearts one more time
Eurika, she found out there was a missing one
There was a boy who stole her heart many times ago
Was it Lennon, Harrison, McCartney, or Ringo?
The globe stopped by a dot somewhere in Betelgeuse
On a fine house shaped exactly like shoes
"Oh i remember to build this house together..."
The boy had locked the clown's heart forever
In the shoe house belongs to Sleepynose
It's the name of the boy, i suppose
And it kept her alive
With one heart, she knew she would survive
She was only a joker clown, trapped in an angry circus town
The clown used to have a million hearts
But a heartbeat needs a true love to beat unstopped
Found in the shoe house belongs to Sleepynose
It's the name of the boy with a true love, i suppose.

Dedicated to Emilio Subagyo.
He'll always be the chocolate spread on my chocholate sandwich bread
I can feel he's there for a long time, i can feel him tottally down in my spine.

December 26, 1997

2005-11-28T22:26:00.000-08:00

a couple days ago i stayed at my grandma's house for a night. i used to live there before i moved to my parents' house right after i graduate high school.
there is too many dark and never-used-rooms, including the library (it was my favorite part of the house by the way). i remember i got lost once and locked up by myself in nowehere's room when i was just a little girl. it made me bursted out of tears, but there'd be no ears able to hear my loudest scream and nobody would even realise i was gone. i had my first sighting experience in this old house. well it's preety classic and i bet it's haunted as well hehehehe. oh such a memory. this house holds so much memories, keeping family secrets tight through generations. atta unsar thu in himinam weihnai namo thein qimai thiudinassus theins warthai wilija theins swe in himina jah ana airthai hlaif unsarana thana sinteinan gif uns himma daga jah aflet uns thatei skulans sijaima swaswe jah weis afletam thaim skulam unsaraim jah ni briggais uns in fraistubnjai ak lausei uns of thamma ubilin unte theina ist thiudangardi jah mahts jah wuithus in aiwins. surprisingly, i found my old diary inside of a shoebox in that library, i remember i've wrote thirteen of them between uhh 1994-1998. each of every books represent the processes of diverse mind-settings in my pre-adolescent hueheuhe. there's only one book left in the shoebox though, it's written Books Forever, September 1997 in the front tittle. it's the most peculiar flashback to read the diary i've wrote when i was 14 hahahah. most of the writing i found in Books forever is about how i questioned God and the holly bible, typical teenager thoughts for i was only between 13 or 14. well, in that odd-sarcastic diary, it clearly shows i was still in the likeness of jew, buddha, catholic orthodox, passionately studied any kinds of religion/culture/spells/occult including wicca and gothics. every writings, every lyrics, poems, even love-letters i wrote in that book are dark and bleeding. i forgot how bitter i am at that time. anyone can tell by the writing that i was very much angry to the world's hideous plot. hmphh..thank goodness i've past those times. rough times being a fighter and solo. oh i have landed from spacetown war with my funky spaceship and gather to join with you all human race. now i can just sit down, lay back, and relax! aaahh..life is warm. hello, colour tv+better couch+vinyl+potato chips+Qmagz+corona! munchy munchy! tee-hee!

just one of those odd writings :

I met her in the park, last long winter. She was sitting in the middle of dancing autumn leaves. She looked at me. I looked at her and smile. So sad eyes, that pale beautiful woman had. I shivered but try to reach her. I need to brush her long-brunette curly hair with my own hands. But she didn't care, she was too busy of being quietly still.. with narrowed view over the pigeons, spread their wings and died. they spread their wings and died.
Silence were everywhere. Time was slowing by.. tick-tack. I watched her in every gesture.. tick..tack. Then i felt my own gesture, as my eyes were slowly closed. Darkness never causes the light. The pale beautiful woman turned at me, and gave me the pittiest smile. I looked down, and i saw her pale frosted finger wearing an orange ring. I closed my eyes so she can be me for nine seconds
It was not easy at all to sing christmas carol in that cold. Read the bible. Having yuletide for two. Banshee. Gave her a bless.. i started to raise a tone in my lala. She reacted only by lifting her right leg, showed me the contradiction between her pale-pale long legs and her dark-dark synthetic boots. somehow remind me to the one i care..
She turned and looked at me in the cloudiest sudden. I spoke. "What is precious, miss gorgeous ?" She narrowed back to the falling pigeons. "The stars, the breeze, the blueberry pie..." Her teardrops smile in a gloomy way. Nothing is rainbow.
"Any favorite tune ?"
" Yes. The heavy rain with thunder that follows."
She smiled a little bit more. Cry a little bit strange
I hugged her. I said to her i'm willing to heal her pain
But she was barely moved. Not once. She was too busy of being quietly still. She turned and said to me, "It's all too late for me. I am sixteen months late to the ballroom. What took you so long, hope?"
She was there but already gone. A lost, pale, and frightened Jamima. She was never ready yet, she was so beautiful..
"A preety mercy, purple nails. Why i no longer have colours on my lips? Why is there blood? That kills my dog. That wets my sister's heart. "
She still barely moved
I let go my frosty hands from the old cloth wrapped her skinny bones
There was nothing but silence. There goes nirvana, chances, the holly light
"Jesus was borned yesterday to be told, i am sorry.. you should have not died the next day.”
Then i just left and ended it, on a cold December 26.

the above writing has been through words’ editing due to the convenience of all readers. it's for your reading only. it's for your reading only. it's for your reading only. *repeating*

once upon a time, there lived an ugly little duckling

2005-11-13T01:41:00.000-08:00

Oh honey, i wish i can give you the best day of my life. But i already gave it to another boy, many times ago
Oh my caramel rain, i wish i could give you all that i have. but someone else has already stole a half of my soul.
He will always possesed that part of me forever.
Millie.. Look, my hands are bleeding. I've wrote too many songs before, i can't even cast a spell on you
Bashful loverboy.. kissing with you almost taste like a girl scoutt's first kiss. Sweet and minty, but not too salty. Tender, like a cotton candy. you pushed your lips to mine, amphetamine.. you taste just like amphetamine
But i will never forget somebody else's kiss instead.. for every 1001 kisses will always taste his lips..
i am the ugliest duckling
i see the sun is green
Will you still look out for me ?
Won't you still cherish me the way i am ?
or am i still your future in the house we build together..
love is colour blind
i didn't realize the sun was yellow
if you leave me now
i will lost everything that i have. well, i don't have much left inside
I hope the angels spoke the truth, you're the antidote for a panic rush
Please, never talk about our wounded hearts. cos hearts were made to be broken
Lullaby crystal, the world is so fake, but you're so real..
Oh silly milly, i wish i can be the rock upon which you stand. But i'm already being the rock upon which he's standing
Oh honey.. i would die to give you the best day of my life. Give me back, give me back..
(I will always look out for you, cherish you)
(every moment we spend will be the best days for you and me)
(you are the woman, the unfaithfull tinkerbell daisy. you're always be the woman)
He is the boy, the electrifying lonely sweetheart. He will always be the boy...

culhat. pake huruf l bukan r

2005-11-13T01:28:00.000-08:00

rasisme masih terjadi di indo! beberapa waktu yg lalu bokap gw mo bikin paspor, padahal dtng ke kantor imigrasinya juga ber-bnyk orng, brng beberapa sanak sodara...eh masih aja lho dimintain surat bukti kewarganegaraan. muka2 sodara bokap gw sih emang sdikit cepawececihwesangyi..tapi bokap kan item, mata belo, pokonya tipikal wajah indonesia sekali deh. walopun nyokapnya asli jebolan negara sosialis itu (males nyebut nama negaranya). ah bangke ni, gw kira perlakuan yg berbeda ini sudah berlalu... hueheuehueheuehu. bertaun2 yg lalu seh, pas gw bikin paspor emang masih ky gitu..(skrng tu paspor dah gw gunting2) tp skrng?! klo mo beres, mesti dikasih 'uang roko' yg lumayan bisa beli 2 cd mogwai import. sedangkan oknum2 berdarah abstrak lainnya seperti nyokap gw, kynya beliau biasa aja dlm sgala urusan mengenai administrasi. betul2 ga ada kesulitan deh, lancar total. ga ky gw sih..yg masih dimintain surat bukti kewarganegaraan waktu daftar kuliah.. ahahahahahahah bangsadh. adakah perbedaan strata yg transeden antara anak keturunan dgn blasteran negri tulip ? sampai2 perbedaan perlakuan regulasi administratif antara nyokap dgn bokap tu beda bgt. masalah ini smakin personal, karna merambat ke urusan2 pekerjaan yg menyangkut jenjang karir. dgn sgala kesulitan dan hambatan yg dihadapi bokap gw, sbg sesama warga tak murni, nyokap punya jauh lebih bnyk kesempatan ketimbang bokap! naaaah, sbnrnya masalah ini yg bikin gw agak ngeri. sbg anak yg akhirnya memiliki setengah darah negeri mie ayam (gw ga bisa mikir istilah lain!) ..apakah gw jg bakal seperti bokap? wah, parno tuh. bisa ga ya klo gw cuma mendeklarasikan setengah darah gw lainnya (dari nyokap)? masalahnya..ni muka bisa diganti ga?? maksud gw gini, gw ga bisa dagang ato bisnis2 kayak nit-not gitu. satu2nya pekerjaan yg bisa gw bayangkan itu cuma bekerja sebagai pegawai. mental indonesia bgt yah? abis lahir dan besar disini! mudah2an aja asal-usul gw ga dipermasalahkan. ah menyebalkan, aku kan cinta indonesia hiks. eh ga juga deng, harga bensin naik terus disini. tapi beneran deh, klo bisa ganti muka, mauuuuuuuu donk. lagipula saya benar2 merasa tdk cantik karna bercampur aduk gini..(lho! malah curhat) lalu perbedaan perlakuan terhadap gw dan keluarga gw.. sepertinya hanya sekedar menegaskan klo gw ini ga bisa sama...hueeeeeee. a-a-aaaaahui!
*bersin* alhamdulilah..

oversize pornstar, i will love you

2005-11-02T00:32:00.000-08:00

Aside from any religion, i believe in love of humanity. I wouldn't throw a party on my own funeral to celebrate how lucky i am to go home straight back to heaven and to leave this sin forever, eventually. or would i ? I believe in love because i know by heart that there are no saints or bibles could explain enough to us how Almighty God is. God is beyond every human minds of how they thought they knew and way beyond their notions too. I hold on to the love because i believe that even a juvenille prosecutor or an oversize porn star, aborigins or mongolians, jewish or orthodox, has a shot to win the last ticket to paradise. My idea may not the most popular one and all i got is simply love to share with. But then again, doesn't everyone ? Happy idul fitri, guys! With lots of love.

yay, daddy's home!

2005-09-15T10:32:00.000-07:00

yesshh, this is big! oh..this is huge. i mean huuuuuge. yippie! now this house must be a whole empire with their king and queen and prince and princess and duke and duchess and lord and lady and jester. yay, daddy's home!

and betcha by golly wow! there's a spark of magic in your eyes!

2005-08-27T10:10:00.000-07:00

in my awaiting for someone to online :P i've just read a short article about the genious malinowski on the internet, then the lamp right above my now-toughtfull head is sparkling *ting* :D my opinion is that there are no such born geniouses. however, i guess someone like stephen hawkings just simply born with special interest on a specific sucbject. as a matter of fact, for i assume, the intelligence quotient which can be used to obtain academic skill, is actually estimating the interest of a patient in academical knowledge,right? einstein scored an estimation of IQ between 185-200 towards his interest-not in academical skill- but in the particular issue that goes like this to him ; the universe was not as it seemed. so we, each one of us individual, are all genious in our own interest. mami janice can be marked genious in sex things and its erotic activities for example. hehehehehe. despite all, aurora with her dead style society is genious for uh being totally still-statued lineament-and hardly breathless? well, why don't we all congrats our geniouses to what we're all do best at. our interest, whatever simplest thing it is, it's never never useless at all. that's how sir issac newton found his principia. by sitting under an apple tree :P ..so let's have our big celebration for every each of our little interest! then make it big ;-)

poematic shy

2005-08-27T03:18:00.001-07:00

ok,so there was this boy back in my high shcool times, whom i had a gigantic crush on! he was in a band and he plays guitar. slurp! oh you know how i've always loved guitar player right. he had like these sexiest picking guitar fingers ahahahaha. anyways, waktu itu kebetulan lagi masa2nya ninggalin 'surat kaleng' di kolong bangku sekolah kan (and the secret admirer thing huhuhu)..uh-huh, you remember? ;) yes, i left a note with a poem under his chair and i do remember how i was got so exciting that day..i always wondered how would he feels when he finds my poem..deg deg..dag dig dug..(of course i didn't write my name. i was too bashful and he was like the all star prom king of all high schools buuhuu) i felt like being trapped in a room and waiting for a bomb to explode!
the poem goes like this :

i dream under the rain of corona
trembled firedust dazles in athena
heartbeat is a lover dancing high
angels rush into amazing sky
i stare at the enchanting star
lost from the eclipse far
played the sirene of a lover's song
you are the sun for everyone
to fall down upon a restless tree
with a poem i found over the mercury
(i wish your heart fell for me only).

filosofi dibalik ganja

2005-08-27T02:54:00.000-07:00

saat seorang kekasih berucap, aku cinta kamu (ciuman), sebuah pertanyaan pun terdengar melirih..

apa kamu mencintaiku juga ?

(lirikan)

cinta adalah bunga mawar yang bersemi di kebun belakang. cinta adalah senyuman anak yatim-piatu, cinta adalah ketulusan hati sahabat-sahabatmu, cinta adalah ibu yang menyusui bayinya.

(tertegun)

jadi kamu ngga cinta sama aku ?

cinta adalah duduk di perapian bersama adikku sambil membacakan kisah tentang si upik abu.. dan bukan dengan kamu.

kenapa ?

aku tak menemukan surga di telapak kakimu

apa kamu tetap ngga cinta kalau aku melakukan ini ?

(telanjang)

sakral.. tanpa hasrat.

(hening)

aku akan mencintaimu suatu hari. di saat rumput-rumput mati dan kamu mengerti bahwa warna hijau adalah cinta dari manusia ..bukan pertunjukan telanjang dada.

tapi kamu manusia, kasih sayang itu merah dari sini! (menunjuk dada)

baik, aku cinta kamu. sedalam aku mencintai koleksi piringan hitamku.

(argumen)

sakral.. tanpa hasrat ..untuk dicintai kembali.

tentang roti dan pragmatisme

2005-07-26T01:37:00.000-07:00

Aku bersyukur masih bisa makan roti pagi ini..

Sewaktu aku masih kecil, usiaku 7 atau 8 taun, aku selalu mengeluh stiap nenek menyediakan segenggam penuh roti dengan selai2nya di piring sarapanku..

huh, ga enak. aku benci roti.
(sebenarnya aku benci semua makanan yg orng dewasa sediakan untukku waktu itu)

aku masih ingat bagaimana dulu aku mengakalinya, dengan membuang makanan2 itu ke kolam penuh ikan di halaman belakang.

Pagi ini (14 tahun kemudian), aku masih disediakan roti itu, dengan selai2nya.. aku bersyukur masih bisa makan roti pagi ini. karena ketika aku masih benci roti, butuh 14 tahun lagi dlm hidupku untuk menyadari.. setiap satu gigitan roti yg kumakan ada ribuan bahkan jutaan orang yg kelaparan dibuatnya.. setiap helai baju rusty di mall yg kubeli, aku melihat tatapan seorang anak pemulung di depan etalase toko dengan pakaian serba lusuh.. tatapan yg menerawang, "kapan aku bisa memiliki baju yg ada di mall?" sedangkan untuk menginjak lantai rumah dan bukan tanah, atau sekedar menikmati sarapan setangkap roti dan segelas susu saja..baginya merupakan kemewahan.

Aku menyadari, aku menangis. Maafkan aku.
Andaikan kita semua dapat berbagi..

Aku bersyukur masih bisa makan roti pagi ini..

for love sake

2005-07-23T09:46:00.000-07:00

MOOD HARI INI : SEDANG MENIKMATI PERASAAN SAAT BERCHATING DENGAN DEE-PATRIA ...LALALALALA

nevermind the civils, because they're civils.

2005-07-21T10:55:00.000-07:00

kereta api darat! anjinganjinganjinganjing knapa sih KA masih dipakai juga di indo? gw serem sih, tiap kali menyebrangi stasiun ui menuju jalan kober, ataupun hanya sekedar menyetir melewati rel kereta gitu,,pasti ada perasaan was-was ..trus bbrp hari trakhir ini hampir tiap slese kuliah..gw slalu aja tersandung di tangga2 stasiun deket halte yg amat sgt dipadati oleh para mahasiswa.. ini ga ada hubungannya sama kereta darat sih. gw nya aja yg lg menolol hahahahahah ..dan malu2in juga (weeekk diliatin satu halte gitu lho hayyaaaaahhh)--> lg butuh curhat. walopun sbnrnya tergantung kewaspadaan masing2 individu, tetep aja nyeeeedddddd.. riskan sekali! ih KA tu apa sih, udah ga aman, malah jd sarana pembentukan peer group pelaku pencopetan, trus bentuknya itu lho..JADUL BANGET ahahahahahahh..klo ga salah sih, semua rel beserta kereta apinya yg skrng dipakai di negri tercinta ini, masih merupakan bekas peninggalan jaman belanda dulu. yaiks, pantesan jadul yak, ah amit2..disemir donk tu keretanya. lalu masinisnya dipilih gitu donkkk..range usia 20 - 25 th dgn penampilan menarik (hahahahahahah). skalian aja bikin yg seru2 gitu ky event masinis hunt (??!!??) ..ngahahaha. ah tapi itu tlalu mengkhayal by the way..gyegyegeyg. yaudahlaaahhh, kan klo masinisnya tampan, ibu-ibu pun senang bukan?!?
hmm kembali ke topik awal.. tapi tapi,,kalaupun kereta daratnya diganti jd subway gitu, tata kota jkt jg blm memadai ukt menghindari bencana yg mengancam KA bawah tanah seperti banjir gitu yah.. bener kata lo jenk, bisa2 malah korban bertambah banyak donk klo si banjir tiba. klo pun ada kereta skyway gitu (ky yg ada di muangthai) kynya juga masih lama bgt utk jd mungkin d,,hmm gmn yaa,,masa lagi2 pinjam IMF. jadi gimana bapak SBY sayang,,tiadakanlah kereta api warisan nenek moyang bangsa ini.. demi keselamatan warga sipilmu yg manis serta menawan hati (seperti saya ini lho pak) heueheuheh. heh tp gimanapun juga, beliau tau ga ya apa yg kumau? hmm,,ckckckck.. pertama, gw siapa? kedua,,kita siapa?? huekekeke,,jargon betul. oh lagi2 kalimatku berakhir dgn jargon ini.. oh nooooo..

Don't Leave Me Star Tonight..

2005-07-21T07:42:00.000-07:00

Dearest Auroraz,

He'll come back for you in you and never leaves you. He's your star and he'll always lighting up your way (yes, he's lighting up your way).. "Don't leave me star tonight.." (no, he had never left you) ".. don't leave my world grey without a sun today, please.." He's your star tonight, he's just shines too bright (don't leave me star too bright.. don't leave me star tonight).

Nietzsche's

2005-07-19T08:10:00.000-07:00

Blessed are the forgetful, for they get the better even of their blunders. (Nietzsche)

selling epic issue

2005-07-15T09:13:00.000-07:00

free-sex, what a lifestyle. whooo..sophisticated. but in our culture, oh how un-ethical. it's undeniable that sex is our main impulse, jadi anak-anak smp-sma yg hobi bersenggama ngga bisa disalahin donk? humm, ga gitu juga say. mnurut gw dorongan seks anak2 generasi smp-sma skrng sudah terlalu dini terstimulasi. okay contohnya playboy.com,hentai,vivid,dlsb..atau mungkin ada yg bisa menyebutkan lebih banyak lagi? dgn kata lain, man, mereka terlalu banyak menerima informasi jadi mereka kewalahan bwat menyaring lagi. walhasil, di rumah bersalin banyak dirawat ibu-ibu muda 'paksaan'. nah secara pribadi, gw menerima mereka yang memang memiliki gaya hidup seperti itu. gw ga muna, gw pun mungkin di masa mendatang akan memiliki gaya hidup seperti ini (who knows, right?). selama mereka ngga mempengaruhi orang lain untuk berbuat di luar kehendaknya. sebut aja pemerkosaan, ataupun mengajak bersetubuh anak di bawah umur. kasian abege-abege itu, secara hukum dan kondisi kejiwaan pun, mereka belum cukup umur untuk sadar betul apa yg mereka perbuat. seks.. such an epic issue. seks bebas = orang dewasa? setuju! that's what i am trying to say hehehe. bagaimanapun juga perilaku seks bebas harus melibatkan dua orang dewasa yang capable to responsible in any cause, no matter what. konsekuensinya seperti kesehatan (AIDS yg terkenal itu, sipilis, dan penyakit menular kelamin lainnya), kondisi ekonomi yg menopang (setidaknya untuk membeli kondom, menyewa hotel bersih, memeriksa kandungan jikala pasangan wanita hamil, etc), yah dan masih banyak lagi isu yang sebaiknya dipikirkan. suittsuiittt siapa bilang seks itu mudah. it's becoming a lifestyle as a part of a culture. berhubung kita lahir dan besar di indonesia, yaa untuk berhubungan seks kita harus menikah dulu. bayangkan berapa pengorbanan yang harus kita capai untuk melakukan dorongan yang pada dasarnya begitu alamiah. begitu manusia.. but there also time when people,like us too,doing sex precisely like an animal. in what refrain? maksudnya gini, manusia memiliki tipe-tipe berhubungan seks yg berbagai macam heuheuehue.. ada yg melakukan seks seperti singa ; pejantan berjuang merebut satu betina. ouch,pasti banyak cakaran. bedanya klo manusia bisa vice versa, banyak wanita memperebutkan satu lelaki? hahahaha..been there ;p ataukah ada yg hendak bercinta layaknya seekor angsa yang sangat setia dengan satu pasangannya bahkan sampai hari kematiannya.. hiks mengharukan ya si angsa. Nyway,i've wrote too many. HOP. btw ada yang bisa menyebutkan jenis bercinta yang lain ngga? tolong donk e-mail ke penyihirlucu@yahoo.com huekekeke.. please :) :D

everybody's gotta learn sometime

2005-07-14T06:08:00.000-07:00

people always tell the truth when they drunk.

i kissed you last night..

i was so fucked up!

it was magikal

you really broke my heart..

pseudoephedrine

2005-07-12T08:43:00.000-07:00

sensasi panik! ..butuh ruminasi! medikasi..fobia ini, takut terbang.. segala catastrophizing.. is this unconcious expression or whatever plain metaphors.. oh fuck, the venom is wide spreading, injured my broken wings (bloody perversion. i'm gonna fall. parachute!) ..oh i, impaired memory. phoebe io elara ledo calisto sinope janus dione portia so many moons.. there's screaming, "fly you perseverative bitch!" ..then up and away, icarus i became ..to the sun that's spying my narrowed perceptions and clouded judgment. then relief has been found. no, you never told me to fly against the milkyway, but i remember you've teached me how to fall with honnor. i fell with honnor. medication completed. i've watched them four birds painting the rainbow with mejikuhibiniu outside in vega capella hadar rigel bernard's star antares aldebaran altair wolf359 betelgeuse sun. lovers come and lovers go, the four of you are remaining.. my pseudoephedrine. 25 times healing than antihistamine. ;-)

ckckck, sekali pere* tetap pere*

2005-07-03T10:19:00.000-07:00

awuu : eh ndah
awuu : gue mau bikin tulisan nih
awuu : minta pendapat dunks
penyihirlucu: tulisan apa nyed?
awuu : buat buletin gitu di gereja gue
penyihirlucu: wekekeke
penyihirlucu: sippp
awuu : menurut loe nih
awuu : gimana kalo surga dan neraka itu gak pernah ada?
awuu : loe bakal gimana
penyihirlucu: jd membahas surga neraka dari point of view filosofis gitu?
awuu : wah gak juga
awuu : loe bakal gimana kalo tiba2 surga dan neraka itu gak ada?
penyihirlucu: wah ga mungkin donk
penyihirlucu: klo surga dan neraka itu ga ada
penyihirlucu: ya brarti kita semua jg ga ada
awuu : ya kan andainya ajaaa
awuu : andaikan
penyihirlucu: panjang neng
penyihirlucu: memangnya benar ada kah surga dan neraka ?
awuu : gue sih percaya ada
penyihirlucu: nah klo menurut gw
penyihirlucu: misalnya surga dan neraka ga ada
penyihirlucu: gw akan mencoba memfilosofikan segalanya
penyihirlucu: bahwa deskripsi heaven and hell itu lebih ke analogi
awuu : trus?
penyihirlucu: yg gw pegang teguh adalah
penyihirlucu: prinsip cause and react
penyihirlucu: sebab-akibat
penyihirlucu: klo kita jahat ya akibatnya akan mendapat yg tak baik jg
penyihirlucu: itulah penganalogian neraka
awuu : hmmm i see i see
penyihirlucu: and so the opposite
penyihirlucu: klo menurut lo sndiri gmn?
awuu : wahahaha
awuu : kalo misalnya tujuan hidup ini cuman surga ama neraka
awuu : dan tiba2 mereka gak ada
awuu : waduh
awuu : gue bersenang2 sih
awuu : melacur
penyihirlucu: wakaka
awuu : dll
penyihirlucu: najis sama aja
awuu : intinya gue gak bakal peduli
awuu : ama apa pun
awuu : wow deh
awuu : akan terjadi chaos
penyihirlucu: kehilangan surga dan neraka
penyihirlucu: otomatis kehilangan keseimbangan juga kan
awuu : tapi ya tujuan hidup kan gak cuman surga ama neraka
penyihirlucu: walaupun tetep sih kita ga bisa keluar dari lingkar karma
awuu : yups that's right
penyihirlucu: ngomong2 melacur
awuu : nape
penyihirlucu: kpn ni mo memerek lagi hieheihe
awuu : hahahaawuu
awuu : tapi iya nih
awuu : saya kangen
awuu : gue seminggu ini di kos sih
penyihirlucu: been awhile since my last jackpot
penyihirlucu: ;p
awuu : hajar yuks Ndahhhh
awuu : mau gak
penyihirlucu: asiikkk
penyihirlucu: kamis yak?
awuu : Rabu gimana?
penyihirlucu: bole
awuu : rabu aje

- dst.. dst.. -

shoegaze? i'd love to.

2005-06-17T16:22:00.000-07:00

there goes the fear, and this is my fear. you couldn't see it in my eyes, i'm too numb. you have seen it all, oh it's too much, and that is my fear. what is your fear? you've been trying, pulling, oh i'm still numb in a box, playing my guitar, we're singing the song of middle curse, i don't remember to open my eyes, i'm too numb, oh i don't remember having them, the view had never changed, to the shoes i am wearing, to the carpet, to the box i'm standing still. this is all too numb, and music is my fear, what is your fear? there goes the fear.

hooker with heart of gold

2005-06-17T15:46:00.000-07:00

saya sudah muak dengan segala kepura-puraan

aaaaarrghhhhhh

saya membutuhkannya dirinya, dia, oh pelacur yang berhati emas

persetan dengan penyimpangan!

bukankah itu solid, kawan?

bukankah Tuhan mencintai dirinya, si pelacur berhati emas, teman?

melebihi segala konformitas!

dan biarlah kemunafikan itu berlalu

saya membutuhkan dirinya, sang pelacur yang berhati emas

ajarkan tentang kebaikan dan ketulusan..

dunia membutuhkan dirinya, sang pelacur berhati emas.

cause i am miss brightside

2005-06-17T12:59:00.000-07:00

pukul 04. 31 wib

sedang ber ym dengan oya,,

dua wanita malam yang merindukan aktivitas malamnya,,

hueheuheuhuehue

aku sedang mendengarkan lagu ini

yang menyayat hati..

i'm coming out of my cage and i've been doing just fine

ya, dia pikir si pirang itu benar-benar mencintainya,,

but she's calling a cab while he's falling asleep

it was only a kiss, how did it end up like this??

sang lelaki terbelalak, bagaimana mungkin si pirang itu, sekarang tanpa pakaiannya

menuju tempat tidur dengan seseorang yg dia kenal baik

he says, let me go! oh, hampir saja aku muntah melihat semua ini,,

he starts to cry, yeah jealousy, turning saints into the sea

swimming through sick lullabies

choking on your alibi

harga mahal yang harus dibayarnya,,

cause he wanted it all

but destiny is calling him and open up his eager eyes

'cause he's mr. brightside

realita menusuknya dalam-dalam

it was only a kiss,,

it's taking control of his mind

is this the price he pays?

how could it end up like this?? it was only a kiss, i've been doing just fine,,

he's still crying, yeah, jealousy turning saints into the sea

swimming through sick lullabies

never underestimate arti sebuah ciuman!

it was a good kiss, and momentum is everything

situasi pun menjadi segalanya

but he never knew

'cause he's mr. brightside

and through the lonely nights he cries,,

oh i never..

i never..

pedophillia

2005-06-17T11:24:00.000-07:00

i wanna smooching with high school boys!! oh i love high school boys! gimme, gimme,, awrrrr

my boo

2005-06-17T05:30:00.000-07:00

aku ingin bertemu dengannya

dengannya

dia,,

dan berkata

semua ini salahku

tanpa membicarakan cuaca hari ini

aku tak kan berani menatap matanya

yang sayu

dan layu

karna diriku

empat musim sudah

aku ingin bertemu dengannya

dia,,

wajah yang pernah aku lukis

di hati,,

semua ini salahku

aku ingin melupakannya

sungguh,

aku tak sanggup melupakannya

wajah yang pernah aku lukis

di hati.